Despite Lady Gaga, Mikey’s Hookup wins prestigious Apple Award#
Throughout the course of human history, those in the know have chosen to bestow upon others recognition for supreme efforts in their field. The ancient Greek victors of games and battle were crowned with laurels and anointed with sacred oils. A few years later, the Heismann trophy was invented to recognize excellence in the game of football. The human intellect and excellence as a human being in general have also been honored via such awards as the Pulitzer and the Nobels. Excellence in the arts is recognized by such awards as the Grammys, Kennedy center honors, and induction into various halls of fame. But next to what we’re going to talk about today, all of these paltry recognitions recede into feebleness. Sorry, Lady Gaga, but your achievements are pretty lame in comparison.
Apple gives an award to it’s authorized repair centers for excellence in service and support. In 2008, we received the award in Quarter 3, but not Q4. Those of you that have been keeping track, and are worried about bringing in your machine here at the end of Q4 2009 need not worry. We got the award EVERY quarter of 2009, including the 4th. So, if your Apple computer is acting a little sluggish, feel free (and safe) to bring it on by. We’ve been excellent for a full year now. I know what you’re wondering–how can they have the award already when the quarter’s not over? Well…what are we, on trial here? You might also wonder why we didn’t get the award in Q4 2008. Well, not to point the finger at any particular individual (Gaga), but there was this one Lady employed at the Hookup as a certified Apple tech for 3 particular months of 2008. Hmmm
…and it was tough for the other techs to concentrate with her “working” back there.
We’re very proud to have been recognized for our excellent service for the entire year. Hats off to the Hookup Apple technicians. In 2010, our service is going to be so great that we get 2 awards per quarter! Just wait. Let’s see you try it, Gaga. Also, please return our Torx T6 screwdriver. We really miss it.
— mikey, December 27th, 2009
If I don’t have it, you don’t need it !#
— mikey, December 26th, 2009
Merry Christmas. Go see a good flick today#
— mikey, December 25th, 2009
Santa needs a 30ft HDMI for his new HD menorah#
— mikey, December 18th, 2009
ULTIMATE SHOULDER#
Just when you think life is all fun ‘n’ games, something serious has to come along and sober you up. For example, local business owner Mikey Weiss noticed a sharp pain in the front of his shoulder when making full forehand slams (“hot swipes” in the parlance of the sport) in table tennis matches. This was quite troublesome for Mikey, who enjoys nothing more than the tears/supplications of a brutally savaged ping-pong opponent. After taking a few days off from distributing red-assed table tennis beatdowns, Mikey decided to consult a physician about the injury.
Sure enough, modern medicine deemed the injury to be analogous to tennis shoulder (and not “scaled-down,” either, as the uncouth might surmise). But that wasn’t all. X-rays revealed an even more complex facet to the pain Weiss experienced, as revealed by the leaked secret photo below:
Yes. Mikey Weiss is a cyborg. Everyone that Mikey has slaughtered at ping-pong can feel at least a shred of their dignity restored, as his forehand is literally not humanly possible. He had a few upgrades and maintenance performed (8GB SD card, fresh Half-AA battery (the very same 3.6 volt variety as used in the PRAM of G5 and prior Power Macs), and we even used a little canned air on the terminals of his molex cable), and as soon as the sutures heal, he should be better than ever. No word yet on whether or not this will render him a soulless killing machine, but we’re just assuming that it will. You just gotta accept it, because you can’t outrun a machine.
— mikey, December 8th, 2009
Is the Emergency Broadcast System in Hi-Def now?#
— mikey, December 5th, 2009
Bring in your Turkey leftovers for a free Laptop Screen cleaner. Gravy please#
— mikey, November 26th, 2009
“A day without SCSI is a day that’s not worth living.” -H.D. Thoreau#
— mikey, November 22nd, 2009
High-quality iPhone Recording on the Cheap#
Lots of people use the iPhone to record voice memos, etc. but the included mic isn’t really optimal for anything much more high-fidelity than that. Companies such as Blue have released products such as the Mikey (no relation to local Frenchman Michel Le Weiss) to allow a higher-quality mic to be used with the iPhone. One of the Hookup staffers, Bobby, has been wanting a good way to use his iPhone as a recorder for interviews, ambient noise, etc., and wanted to use his favorite XLR mic to do it. He began scheming early in the morning and soon enough had begun to assemble a prototype, all made from standard components found here in the store. And thus was born this terrifying abomination of technology:
But, actually, it works great. The audio came out exceptionally clear, and the total cost, less mic, was a mere $32.00! Not bad. Works great for the “I Am T-Pain” app, too. I hear. Most importantly, good-quality recordings of really interesting and Nobel Prize-worthy thoughts can be captured straight off the domes of favorite coworkers.
“So anyway, I says to him, I says…”
— mikey, November 16th, 2009
Rare Apple BLACK MAGIC Mouse#
Hold the phones! In a crazy (presumably) mix-up, Mikey’s Hookup has ended up with a super rare BLACK magic mouse. We were super excited to get the new Apple magic mice in (and they are sweeeeet), but imagine our surprise at finding this amazing artifact:
it keeps making us speak backwards, and some of us can spin our heads 360 degrees now. Others have developed neat powers, like level 12 attack spells and amazing guitar soloing ability (seriously searing licks).
The best thing is that instead of AA batteries, it runs on human blood! And man, this thing is thirsty. Multitouch gestures make browsing our favorite LARPing and Dimmu Borgir sites a breeze. We can’t believe all this is available at am MSRP of just $666.66!
Now, before you try and be all like, “oh, I’m totally going to get that to go with my Elvira calendar,” not so fast. Sources in Cupertino tell us that this the only known black magic mouse in existence. You should come on down and check it out–but keep in mind that it’s invisible to the unworthy.
Okay, back to the sacrifice!
— mikey, November 10th, 2009
