Hiw much does two pounds of butter weigh?#

Posted in One Liners

— mikey, January 2nd, 2010

Happy New Year Everybody!! See ya’ll tomorrow#

Posted in One Liners

— mikey, January 1st, 2010

Despite Lady Gaga, Mikey’s Hookup wins prestigious Apple Award#

Throughout the course of human history, those in the know have chosen to bestow upon others recognition for supreme efforts in their field. The ancient Greek victors of games and battle were crowned with laurels and anointed with sacred oils. A few years later, the Heismann trophy was invented to recognize excellence in the game of football. The human intellect and excellence as a human being in general have also been honored via such awards as the Pulitzer and the Nobels. Excellence in the arts is recognized by such awards as the Grammys, Kennedy center honors, and induction into various halls of fame. But next to what we’re going to talk about today, all of these paltry recognitions recede into feebleness. Sorry, Lady Gaga, but your achievements are pretty lame in comparison.

Apple gives an award to it’s authorized repair centers for excellence in service and support. In 2008, we received the award in Quarter 3, but not Q4. Those of you that have been keeping track, and are worried about bringing in your machine here at the end of Q4 2009 need not worry. We got the award EVERY quarter of 2009, including the 4th. So, if your Apple computer is acting a little sluggish, feel free (and safe) to bring it on by. We’ve been excellent for a full year now. I know what you’re wondering–how can they have the award already when the quarter’s not over? Well…what are we, on trial here? You might also wonder why we didn’t get the award in Q4 2008. Well, not to point the finger at any particular individual (Gaga), but there was this one Lady employed at the Hookup as a certified Apple tech for 3 particular months of 2008. Hmmm

…and it was tough for the other techs to concentrate with her “working” back there.

We’re very proud to have been recognized for our excellent service for the entire year. Hats off to the Hookup Apple technicians. In 2010, our service is going to be so great that we get 2 awards per quarter! Just wait. Let’s see you try it, Gaga. Also, please return our Torx T6 screwdriver. We really miss it.

Posted in theblogup

— mikey, December 27th, 2009

If I don’t have it, you don’t need it !#

Posted in One Liners

— mikey, December 26th, 2009

Merry Christmas. Go see a good flick today#

Posted in One Liners

— mikey, December 25th, 2009

Santa needs a 30ft HDMI for his new HD menorah#

Posted in One Liners

— mikey, December 18th, 2009

ULTIMATE SHOULDER#

Just when you think life is all fun ‘n’ games, something serious has to come along and sober you up. For example, local business owner Mikey Weiss noticed a sharp pain in the front of his shoulder when making full forehand slams (“hot swipes” in the parlance of the sport) in table tennis matches. This was quite troublesome for Mikey, who enjoys nothing more than the tears/supplications of a brutally savaged ping-pong opponent. After taking a few days off from distributing red-assed table tennis beatdowns, Mikey decided to consult a physician about the injury.

Sure enough, modern medicine deemed the injury to be analogous to tennis shoulder (and not “scaled-down,” either, as the uncouth might surmise). But that wasn’t all. X-rays revealed an even more complex facet to the pain Weiss experienced, as revealed by the leaked secret photo below:

Yes. Mikey Weiss is a cyborg. Everyone that Mikey has slaughtered at ping-pong can feel at least a shred of their dignity restored, as his forehand is literally not humanly possible. He had a few upgrades and maintenance performed (8GB SD card, fresh Half-AA battery (the very same 3.6 volt variety as used in the PRAM of G5 and prior Power Macs), and we even used a little canned air on the terminals of his molex cable), and as soon as the sutures heal, he should be better than ever. No word yet on whether or not this will render him a soulless killing machine, but we’re just assuming that it will. You just gotta accept it, because you can’t outrun a machine.