Valentine’s Paranormal Saga Ends in Mystery, Knee-length Skirt#
Brooklyn, NY, USA — Today an uncertain ending to a love triangle decades in the making unfolded in front of Mikey’s Hookup, a Brooklyn electronics retailer. The key players, pop songbird Lady Gaga and Sherpa/respected paranormal researcher Nawang Tashi have converged on this spot after tracing a mysterious presence since 1984. Both, unbeknownst to the other, believed themselves to be on the trail of a fearsome, mythical yeti. Tashi’s reasons for pursuing the purported beast were scientific but with a splash of vengeance–the beast consumed his entire family and their prized alpaca in the dead of the night. Gaga’s reasons for the pursuit were purely carnal. She wanted a kiss from a yeti. And who can blame her? The kiss of the yeti is said to bring wealth and luck to it’s recipient, along with imprinting the brain with a map to some leprechaun gold. “I’m totes gonna get that smooch, holla’!!” wrote Gaga in a recent diary entry (livejournal.com, post since removed).
Both had been following the trail of the beast via his copious droppings, and also asking around. Mostly the droppings, though. When the creature finished an intense game of Street Fighter II at Mikey’s Hookup (playing as Blanka, claim employees of the store), he stepped outside to find an ambush. Gaga stood there waiting with a choice yak steak and a comely smile, looking radiant in the lastest fashion from noted designer Christopher Jakubowski. The creature, at first intrigued, sniffed the air and then paused for a moment. “OH, HUZZAH!” came a cry from behind a fence, “AT LAST! I shall slay the foul beast and avenge my family, also SCIENCE!!” as Tashi menacingly waved a fearsome battle-ax. The yeti took off at a ferocious pace, disappearing into the snowy evening.
Nearly a week later, the whereabouts of the yeti are unknown, as are those of Gaga. She was last seen at a Talbot’s in Minneapolis signing the credit card receipt for the matronly clothing, “true love has changed me.” Chris Jakubowski could not be reached at press time for comment, his voicemail claiming he was “out being fabulous.”
— mikey, February 21st, 2010
Will USB my valentine ?#
— mikey, February 13th, 2010
When you’re driving, your life is in your foot’s hands#
— mikey, February 5th, 2010
R.I.P. Technics#
Sad news today, we hear from our distributor that Technics will cease to be at the end of February. The rumors are true, the maker of the legendary SL-1200 and 1200 MK2 will be shutting down production within 30 days. 1200’s have already jumped up $50 in price in the last few months, as the supply becomes more scarce. There’s no telling where the prices could go in the next little bit, not only for new but for used models as well. This is a huge deal, as the Technics 1200 is widely (almost officially) regarded as the finest DJ turntable ever manufactured. It’s unchallenged 25+ year reign as the weapon of choice for DJs across all genres might be drawing to a close.
We’ve been selling them forever, and nearly every bar in Williamsburg, Brooklyn has a pair. Friday and Saturday nights around the time we’re closing (8PM), there’s often a few people rushing through the doors at the last possible minute to grab stylii, carts, etc. and if they know which model the decks at the bar are, they’re almost always 1200s. We’ll still be selling ‘em as long as we can get new ones at a reasonable price. Wish we could get these limited editions again, so fresh:
— mikey, January 31st, 2010
My kitchen is screaming for an iPad#
— mikey, January 29th, 2010
I want an iPad now !!#
— mikey, January 29th, 2010
Magic Mice Restocked#
Check out this mighty mouse pyramid with pillars made from the new Apple remotes. A fitting tribute to the power of the god Kukulcan. Hurry, these things sell out FAST.
— mikey, January 17th, 2010
Electricity is really just organized lighting#
— mikey, January 7th, 2010
