Now, everyone loves carbon fiber and weird bulges. We really want these cables, even at the price. But we here at the Hookup are big advocates of deferring to the experts, so to help us decide whether or not these cables are a savvy purchase, we consulted with professional shopper Chris Jakubowski. Chris is best known as the former personal shopper of celeb Sarah Jessica Parker, and many consider him to have invented the phrase, “you GO, girl!”

“Like, OMG,” Chris exclaimed upon seeing the photo from our tipster, “those cables! That price! Yucky! Didn’t you know you can get 2 perfectly adequate XLR cables for just $13 each at Mikey’s Hookup?! And then you have so much extra money for really fabulous purchases!” We asked Jakubowski what some great purchases would be. We naturally first thought of a set of Dayton Rims and a couple more gold teeth in our grill, but Jakubowski suggested we troll eBay for some even sweeter deals. We found a few.

So, as it turns out, after buying a pair of XLR cables at Mikey’s, with the difference we could still afford all of the following:

1. A vintage Vespa, with sidecar, for $2500
2. An medieval armo(u)r suit, for $2241
3. A G3 iMac, for $155
4. A pretty “legit” “gangsta ice chain” for $44
5. A Hobart deli slicer, $1200
6. A hot/cold buffet serving range, for $650
7. An ice cream bar vending machine, for $1199
8. An iPod Nano custom engraved to read “Insane Clown Posse Juggalo 4 Lyfe”, $150
9. Night vision goggles, $580
10. A snowmobile, for $1100
And still have enough for a Peter Luger burger, with trimmings, $14.

Oh, snip! You had us from “deli slicer” (Jakubowski repeatedly informed us that “Jerry MacGuire” is his favorite film). So, clearly, the choice is yours. You can pay way too much elsewhere for cables of dubious benefit, or come to Mikey’s and save some money for the other things you love.

Consider the bar officially raised.

P.S. The real guy didn’t laugh at the end.

We tried to do a really comprehensive, in-depth iPad review, but…well, no more Mountain Dew at work. Mini P.K. Ripper by Flick Trix.

1. Number of blocks of ice containing video game trial versions smashed by Hookup staffers during the weekend: 2 (Lost Planet 2, in case you’re curious)
2. Number of video game trial versions in a PS3 version package containing XBox-only download codes: 1

3. Percentage of total customers that have asked one of our opinions of the iPad and then proceeded to argue with it: ~40%

4. Number of boxes of Entemann’s donuts purchased and consumed: 3

5. Number of hookup staffers who have claimed the title of “Harbor Master:” 2

6. Number of Brooklyn residents who connected their TV’s to their Macs: 3,200 (figure is approximate)
7. Percentage of askers who have not believed us that there is no such thing as a FireWire to USB converter dongle: 100%

8. Number of oatmeal cookies received with returns as stipulated by receipt: 0
9. Number of “customers” just coming to Hookup DUMBO to check facebook on display computers: 114

10. Number of people whom have mistaken Mikey for Seth Green: 2

Both had been following the trail of the beast via his copious droppings, and also asking around. Mostly the droppings, though. When the creature finished an intense game of Street Fighter II at Mikey’s Hookup (playing as Blanka, claim employees of the store), he stepped outside to find an ambush. Gaga stood there waiting with a choice yak steak and a comely smile, looking radiant in the lastest fashion from noted designer Christopher Jakubowski. The creature, at first intrigued, sniffed the air and then paused for a moment. “OH, HUZZAH!” came a cry from behind a fence, “AT LAST! I shall slay the foul beast and avenge my family, also SCIENCE!!” as Tashi menacingly waved a fearsome battle-ax. The yeti took off at a ferocious pace, disappearing into the snowy evening.

Nearly a week later, the whereabouts of the yeti are unknown, as are those of Gaga. She was last seen at a Talbot’s in Minneapolis signing the credit card receipt for the matronly clothing, “true love has changed me.” Chris Jakubowski could not be reached at press time for comment, his voicemail claiming he was “out being fabulous.”

We’ve been selling them forever, and nearly every bar in Williamsburg, Brooklyn has a pair. Friday and Saturday nights around the time we’re closing (8PM), there’s often a few people rushing through the doors at the last possible minute to grab stylii, carts, etc. and if they know which model the decks at the bar are, they’re almost always 1200s. We’ll still be selling ‘em as long as we can get new ones at a reasonable price. Wish we could get these limited editions again, so fresh:

Apple gives an award to it’s authorized repair centers for excellence in service and support. In 2008, we received the award in Quarter 3, but not Q4. Those of you that have been keeping track, and are worried about bringing in your machine here at the end of Q4 2009 need not worry. We got the award EVERY quarter of 2009, including the 4th. So, if your Apple computer is acting a little sluggish, feel free (and safe) to bring it on by. We’ve been excellent for a full year now. I know what you’re wondering–how can they have the award already when the quarter’s not over? Well…what are we, on trial here? You might also wonder why we didn’t get the award in Q4 2008. Well, not to point the finger at any particular individual (Gaga), but there was this one Lady employed at the Hookup as a certified Apple tech for 3 particular months of 2008. Hmmm

…and it was tough for the other techs to concentrate with her “working” back there.

We’re very proud to have been recognized for our excellent service for the entire year. Hats off to the Hookup Apple technicians. In 2010, our service is going to be so great that we get 2 awards per quarter! Just wait. Let’s see you try it, Gaga. Also, please return our Torx T6 screwdriver. We really miss it.

Sure enough, modern medicine deemed the injury to be analogous to tennis shoulder (and not “scaled-down,” either, as the uncouth might surmise). But that wasn’t all. X-rays revealed an even more complex facet to the pain Weiss experienced, as revealed by the leaked secret photo below:

Yes. Mikey Weiss is a cyborg. Everyone that Mikey has slaughtered at ping-pong can feel at least a shred of their dignity restored, as his forehand is literally not humanly possible. He had a few upgrades and maintenance performed (8GB SD card, fresh Half-AA battery (the very same 3.6 volt variety as used in the PRAM of G5 and prior Power Macs), and we even used a little canned air on the terminals of his molex cable), and as soon as the sutures heal, he should be better than ever. No word yet on whether or not this will render him a soulless killing machine, but we’re just assuming that it will. You just gotta accept it, because you can’t outrun a machine.