Brooklyn, NY, USA — Today an uncertain ending to a love triangle decades in the making unfolded in front of Mikey’s Hookup, a Brooklyn electronics retailer. The key players, pop songbird Lady Gaga and Sherpa/respected paranormal researcher Nawang Tashi have converged on this spot after tracing a mysterious presence since 1984. Both, unbeknownst to the other, believed themselves to be on the trail of a fearsome, mythical yeti. Tashi’s reasons for pursuing the purported beast were scientific but with a splash of vengeance–the beast consumed his entire family and their prized alpaca in the dead of the night. Gaga’s reasons for the pursuit were purely carnal. She wanted a kiss from a yeti. And who can blame her? The kiss of the yeti is said to bring wealth and luck to it’s recipient, along with imprinting the brain with a map to some leprechaun gold. “I’m totes gonna get that smooch, holla’!!” wrote Gaga in a recent diary entry (livejournal.com, post since removed).

Both had been following the trail of the beast via his copious droppings, and also asking around. Mostly the droppings, though. When the creature finished an intense game of Street Fighter II at Mikey’s Hookup (playing as Blanka, claim employees of the store), he stepped outside to find an ambush. Gaga stood there waiting with a choice yak steak and a comely smile, looking radiant in the lastest fashion from noted designer Christopher Jakubowski. The creature, at first intrigued, sniffed the air and then paused for a moment. “OH, HUZZAH!” came a cry from behind a fence, “AT LAST! I shall slay the foul beast and avenge my family, also SCIENCE!!” as Tashi menacingly waved a fearsome battle-ax. The yeti took off at a ferocious pace, disappearing into the snowy evening.

Nearly a week later, the whereabouts of the yeti are unknown, as are those of Gaga. She was last seen at a Talbot’s in Minneapolis signing the credit card receipt for the matronly clothing, “true love has changed me.” Chris Jakubowski could not be reached at press time for comment, his voicemail claiming he was “out being fabulous.”

Sad news today, we hear from our distributor that Technics will cease to be at the end of February. The rumors are true, the maker of the legendary SL-1200 and 1200 MK2 will be shutting down production within 30 days. 1200’s have already jumped up $50 in price in the last few months, as the supply becomes more scarce. There’s no telling where the prices could go in the next little bit, not only for new but for used models as well. This is a huge deal, as the Technics 1200 is widely (almost officially) regarded as the finest DJ turntable ever manufactured. It’s unchallenged 25+ year reign as the weapon of choice for DJs across all genres might be drawing to a close.

We’ve been selling them forever, and nearly every bar in Williamsburg, Brooklyn has a pair. Friday and Saturday nights around the time we’re closing (8PM), there’s often a few people rushing through the doors at the last possible minute to grab stylii, carts, etc. and if they know which model the decks at the bar are, they’re almost always 1200s. We’ll still be selling ‘em as long as we can get new ones at a reasonable price. Wish we could get these limited editions again, so fresh:

Check out this mighty mouse pyramid with pillars made from the new Apple remotes. A fitting tribute to the power of the god Kukulcan. Hurry, these things sell out FAST.

Throughout the course of human history, those in the know have chosen to bestow upon others recognition for supreme efforts in their field. The ancient Greek victors of games and battle were crowned with laurels and anointed with sacred oils. A few years later, the Heismann trophy was invented to recognize excellence in the game of football. The human intellect and excellence as a human being in general have also been honored via such awards as the Pulitzer and the Nobels. Excellence in the arts is recognized by such awards as the Grammys, Kennedy center honors, and induction into various halls of fame. But next to what we’re going to talk about today, all of these paltry recognitions recede into feebleness. Sorry, Lady Gaga, but your achievements are pretty lame in comparison.

Apple gives an award to it’s authorized repair centers for excellence in service and support. In 2008, we received the award in Quarter 3, but not Q4. Those of you that have been keeping track, and are worried about bringing in your machine here at the end of Q4 2009 need not worry. We got the award EVERY quarter of 2009, including the 4th. So, if your Apple computer is acting a little sluggish, feel free (and safe) to bring it on by. We’ve been excellent for a full year now. I know what you’re wondering–how can they have the award already when the quarter’s not over? Well…what are we, on trial here? You might also wonder why we didn’t get the award in Q4 2008. Well, not to point the finger at any particular individual (Gaga), but there was this one Lady employed at the Hookup as a certified Apple tech for 3 particular months of 2008. Hmmm

…and it was tough for the other techs to concentrate with her “working” back there.

We’re very proud to have been recognized for our excellent service for the entire year. Hats off to the Hookup Apple technicians. In 2010, our service is going to be so great that we get 2 awards per quarter! Just wait. Let’s see you try it, Gaga. Also, please return our Torx T6 screwdriver. We really miss it.

Just when you think life is all fun ‘n’ games, something serious has to come along and sober you up. For example, local business owner Mikey Weiss noticed a sharp pain in the front of his shoulder when making full forehand slams (“hot swipes” in the parlance of the sport) in table tennis matches. This was quite troublesome for Mikey, who enjoys nothing more than the tears/supplications of a brutally savaged ping-pong opponent. After taking a few days off from distributing red-assed table tennis beatdowns, Mikey decided to consult a physician about the injury.

Sure enough, modern medicine deemed the injury to be analogous to tennis shoulder (and not “scaled-down,” either, as the uncouth might surmise). But that wasn’t all. X-rays revealed an even more complex facet to the pain Weiss experienced, as revealed by the leaked secret photo below:

Yes. Mikey Weiss is a cyborg. Everyone that Mikey has slaughtered at ping-pong can feel at least a shred of their dignity restored, as his forehand is literally not humanly possible. He had a few upgrades and maintenance performed (8GB SD card, fresh Half-AA battery (the very same 3.6 volt variety as used in the PRAM of G5 and prior Power Macs), and we even used a little canned air on the terminals of his molex cable), and as soon as the sutures heal, he should be better than ever. No word yet on whether or not this will render him a soulless killing machine, but we’re just assuming that it will. You just gotta accept it, because you can’t outrun a machine.

Lots of people use the iPhone to record voice memos, etc. but the included mic isn’t really optimal for anything much more high-fidelity than that. Companies such as Blue have released products such as the Mikey (no relation to local Frenchman Michel Le Weiss) to allow a higher-quality mic to be used with the iPhone. One of the Hookup staffers, Bobby, has been wanting a good way to use his iPhone as a recorder for interviews, ambient noise, etc., and wanted to use his favorite XLR mic to do it. He began scheming early in the morning and soon enough had begun to assemble a prototype, all made from standard components found here in the store. And thus was born this terrifying abomination of technology:

But, actually, it works great. The audio came out exceptionally clear, and the total cost, less mic, was a mere $32.00! Not bad. Works great for the “I Am T-Pain” app, too. I hear. Most importantly, good-quality recordings of really interesting and Nobel Prize-worthy thoughts can be captured straight off the domes of favorite coworkers.

“So anyway, I says to him, I says…”

Hold the phones! In a crazy (presumably) mix-up, Mikey’s Hookup has ended up with a super rare BLACK magic mouse. We were super excited to get the new Apple magic mice in (and they are sweeeeet), but imagine our surprise at finding this amazing artifact:

it keeps making us speak backwards, and some of us can spin our heads 360 degrees now. Others have developed neat powers, like level 12 attack spells and amazing guitar soloing ability (seriously searing licks).

The best thing is that instead of AA batteries, it runs on human blood! And man, this thing is thirsty. Multitouch gestures make browsing our favorite LARPing and Dimmu Borgir sites a breeze. We can’t believe all this is available at am MSRP of just $666.66!

Now, before you try and be all like, “oh, I’m totally going to get that to go with my Elvira calendar,” not so fast. Sources in Cupertino tell us that this the only known black magic mouse in existence. You should come on down and check it out–but keep in mind that it’s invisible to the unworthy.

Okay, back to the sacrifice!

Well, we always hoped it would happen. And today, unexpectedly, it did. We sold our SCART connector. What is SCART, you ask? Well, while I think that question could best be answered by the Syndicat des Constructeurs d’Appareils Radiorécepteurs et Téléviseurs, I’ll go ahead and give you a little primer. It’s a connector found mostly in France and the EU, that has some pretty neat capabilities. Do we advocate rewiring your entire house to utilize it? Absolutely.

We’ve had this lone SCART connector kicking around the shop, baffling inquirers for some time. Today, an amazing milestone: we sold it. The last of the SCART (not to be confused with the more ubiquitous SCAT)(sidenote: could “The SCARTman” have a novelty career like “The Scatman”?) connectors from a period wherein, to quote Mikey, “SCART connectors were really popular for awhile 2 or 3 years ago.”

But, sadly, those glory days, as always, have faded. The last SCART connector walked out our doors with the smiling couple above. While it was sad to see our little SCART go, we were happy to see it go to such a good home. But as HDMI becomes ubiquitous across the EU, and SCART slowly fades into obscurity, we definitely feel the twinge of a bigger loss. Just not of picture resolution.

We here at the hookup don’t just love FireWire adaptors. We also love Angela, Pamela, Sandra, and Rita. And you know who else does? Forgotten (but not in his native Germany) “singer” of yesteryear Lou Bega:

In honor of this cosmic connection, several of the vital young squires here at the HookUp took last wednesday as a special opportunity to celebrate Bega and his nobel-prizeworthy roaring-20’s rehash. BUT WAIT, you say, Lou Bega has a girl in Paris, a girl in Rome, and he’s even got a girl in the Vatican dome! What about you guys?

So instead, we grew moustaches. Bega moustaches. The week worth of shaggy faces it took to grow them out totally paid off when we all arrived looking dapper, one might even say “boffo.” Many customers were unable to identify exactly why we were all looking so good this particular day…okay, Williamsburg, the cat’s out of the bag–it was the moustaches. Please enjoy this winsome gallery of finely groomed cookiedusters and don’t be surprised if you find yourself humming, “a little bit of Jessica/here I am/a little bit of you/makes me your man/WHOOOAOAAA”

by this point i think we can all agree that Bega day was a huge success. The hardest part of the day was not running off to the “liquor sto’/’round the co’nah.” In summary, this rare, collector’s edition Bega day sticker is valued by Sotheby’s at just over $2.95 USD. No one knows where it went–some lucky person somewhere is sitting on a literal shaving of a goldmine.

Stay tuned, folks. This will NOT be the last theme day at the HookUp.

With a get-a-way car waiting out front with New Jersey plates, these Ed Hardy wearing boyz decided to pay Williamsburg Brooklyn of visit with wire cutters in hand. Even with the Apple laptops locked down with laptop security cable, that didn’t stop them from coming  by and choosing the two least expensive display laptops in the store. They had the choice of a brand new 17″ Macbook Pro with optional matte screen , balls to the wall new 15″ Macbook Pro, first generation Macbook air and low end 2.16 White Macbook. They took off running to their idling black two door sedan (maybe Toyota) with a Macbook Air and a White Macbook. There have been many reports in Williamsburg of two guys walking into galleries and other stores doing this same procedure . Hopefully they’ll stop by the Dumbo store soon to purchase the Magsafe adapters and show off any new Ed Hardy clothes they may have bought recently. Couldn’t they have waited after fashion week.

Laptop thieves