Hey, elves and trolls, can you feel it? the Holiday season is in full swing. We had a (Cha)badass Hannukah and Christmas is right around the corner. Still not too late to pick up some holiday items, as white elephant and secret Santa parties are still raging hard. The thing is, what to get? Don’t worry, you young scrooges, for we have the answer: GIFT CARDS. Some would say, oh, they’re impersonal; we think that’s what rules about them. With a gift card, you can get whatever you want! It’s like giving a genie in a bottle! The only restriction is, that its only usable at whatever establishment you purchased it….JUST LIKE THE MONEY PRINTED BY THE CONFEDERATE STATES DURING THE CIVIL WAR! Yes, along with whatever their heart desires, you give the lucky recipient a chance to experience firsthand an important lesson from American history. Even Charles Dickens would have to agree that that’s the TRUE meaning of Christmas*
So, a gift card, it is. The next tricky part is deciding where to get one from. What shops truly sell something for everyone? Turns out there are lots of great shops in Williamsburg, so no need to go to stinky old Manhattan. Best thing to do is compare some local shops side-by-side, to see who has the goods. Obviously, we’re a little biased towards Mikey’s Hookup, so that’s a definite contender. The only fair way to select the others was to draw names from a hat. So, we put all of Williamsburg’s shops’ and businesses’ names into an empty bucket and drew 3 at random. There was one unforseen problem: almost all businesses in Williamsburg are now Duane Reades. There are over 40 that have opened in 2010. First the one on Kent. Then the one across from King’s Pharmacy. Then they opened one across from the one on Kent. Then they put a DR kiosk inside King’s Pharmacy. Then came the fleet of Duane Reade Mobile van-stores on Bedford. The Mini-Mall is now 7 Duane Reades. A Starbucks that was set to open in the Bagel Store’s location got snapped up and is now going to become a Duane Reade. Finally, a few existing Duane Reades were gutted and turned into 2-3 smaller Duane Reades each. According to a sign, Duane Reade’s Hookup should be opening in Duanes on the Waterfront (formerly Tops on the Waterfront)’s location early 2011. So, basically, your holiday gift card options are Mikey’s Hookup or Duane Reade.
So, how do they stack up? Duane Reade mostly sells medicine. DOWNER. Also, think about who goes there: SICK PEOPLE. GERMS. Mikey’s Hookup sells all the Apple gear, pro audio and video gear, and tech odds and ends that people really want and need to ENJOY a creative life. Duane Reade sells a selection of candies and panty hose, but they don’t let you play any sports there. Mikey’s Hookup has a ping-pong table that customers can enjoy while they shop, and NO linoleum tiling. Duane Reade has 96 convenient locations in Williamsburg. Mikey knows that having just one store is the best way to have a great store.
At the end of the day, the choice is yours. Do you like the person you’re getting the gift for? If so, we’d recommend a Mikey’s gift card in the denomination of your choice.
If not, pick up a Duane Reade gift card from the authorized Duane Reade human kiosk sales outpost in your building’s stairwell or pull the DR rope in your apartment and a representative will knock on your door shortly.
If you REALLY want to do something personal, next week we’ll have a few (non Duane Reade) local shop recommendations of places we love with cool and unique gifts. Until then, put another few Duane Reade brand logs on the fire, and remember, Duane Reade!
*see Oliver Twist, p. 314, last paragraph (it’s a metaphor, you have to read between the lines, right after the Duane Reade part)
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