I know what you’re thinking: “How can these clowns,” you think to yourself, “declare the coveted Mikey’s Hookup Customer of the Year award recipient so early into the year? You haven’t even seen my Phil Schiller costume!” Well, we hired some professionally-trained method actors to re-enact the events that compelled us to make the bold declaration. I think you’ll agree that this guy rules, despite being “totes aggro,” in the words of Hookup staffer Chris.

Consider the bar officially raised.

P.S. The real guy didn’t laugh at the end.